Xx!#¥£!#Z??!!! (or however one writes curse words politely.) Damn this medical leave that gives me time to read this! Been there. Done that. Really don't want to do it again. Perfect husband (Ph) was nearby for this to bear some of the effects of this trauma, and said: "you're not losing it tonight." "You don't know for sure." And, "nothing I say will make you feel better." Right.
Xx!#¥£!#Z??!!!
Most people associate chemotherapy with hair loss. It is a common side effect of some, but not all of the chemotherapy drugs used to treat cancer patients. Dr S appropriately calls it an "indignity." Chemotherapy drugs generally affect the entire body, not just the cancer sites. These drugs typically target cells that rapidly multiply, so, along with attacking the growth of the nasty cancer cells, some good cells are sacrificed, e.g., hair follicle cells, nails, stomach lining, etc. Biological drugs are often more targeted, and not associated with the same side effects.
In 2010, my first tango with breast cancer, I lost all of my hair on my head and elsewhere. (There are some benefits. Use your imagination.) Three of my male colleagues shaved their heads in an incredible show of support & solidarity.
I got a great wig. And then more wigs for fun, borrowed from my lovely niece E, via the Orthodox Jewish Jerusalem connection. Here I am with friends, each wearing a different wig or other embellishment.
The wigs looked nice, but I was still bald on the inside. I hated it. I know it sounds (and perhaps is) shallow, but that's how I felt. Like a 7th grade dweeb at the mercy of imaginary mean girls. Loser.
While the boomer generation has made the almost bald look very hip and trendy for men, not so for women--and not a good look for me. I recall going to a meeting for work, attended by several cancer patient advocates, and chatting a bit in the ladies room--one said, oh, the cancer community is "so over baldness. It just doesn't matter." Thanks (NOT) for sharing that and for judging me (I thought, but did not say.)
In 2011, my hair began to grow back. At first it was super curly and frizzy. Some people liked it, said it was a hip short haircut. I hated it. "Nothing I say will make you feel better." By the Spring of 2012, I again had a full head of hair, styled, colored, & straightened to my satisfaction and delight. (See photos on blog header. )
November 2012. Breast cancer redux. From stage II to stage IV. Like skipping a grade in elementary school, my cancer was that smart. One ray of light in this round of chemotherapy is that I have not lost my hair. I was told that my treatment regimen would not cause hair loss, but I was suspicious. I found and read the labeling (apparently a bad habit of mine), which stated: hair loss, 20%. When I asked chemo nurse E (one of my favorites) about it, she said," oh, 20% is nothing." "Um, E, my risk of recurrence was less than 10%." "Oh, good point. Sorry." I have babied my hair to minimize the chance of loss. No color treatments. No blow drying. Baby shampoo only. I sing it lullabies. So far, it has worked. It doesn't look great, but it is still there.
I've calmed down a bit since the early evening trauma, and read a bit more. Yes, that bad habit (facts, information, more, more, more!) One reference said "occasional hair loss." Yay! Another said "hair loss is common." Ugh. I will see Dr S on Thursday and will ask. Perhaps it's a realtively low dose, with more minimal side effects. I have to wait at least two days for that intel. I can't possibly call his office about this. After all, they're busy treating sick people.
Stay tuned.
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