Cancer Diva 4 Ever

"Hi, how are you?"  What do I say to that?

I love the train.  It's comfy and gives me uninterrupted time.  And, like today, I can run into old friends, colleagues, bosses.  I dashed for a good seat in the quiet car, one away from my current colleagues, where I could shut out the world for a bit, and work, read, and think en route to 24 hours of meetings.  In my dash, I saw two former colleagues -- not just any old colleagues -- but two of the top dogs, including one of the name partners who opened the doors of the healthcare boutique law firm where I worked from 1986-1998, a good long time.  I cut my teeth at that firm, learned strategy, policy, lobbying, the ways of Washington, and how to lunch at the Bombay Club.  Ah, the pre-austerity good old days!

I was delighted to see him, and he asked, as one does in normal conversation, "How are you?"  So, rather than saying, "fine," or "oh, ok, but I have stage 4 cancer," the following dialogue transpired:
Me:  "Good!  Just yesterday I started a blog.  I'll send you the link."
He:  "A blog?  Really?  What's it about?"  (He is even older than I am, so he does not expect everyone to blog, tweet, etc.)
Me: "cancerdiva4ever.com"
He:  "Oh..."
Me:  (interrupting) "But I'm going to be okay, really. I am."  (Note:  will write future post about comforting others when I share my cancer news.")
He:  "What are you taking?"
Me:  "Well, in the first round, I had T, A, & C.  Now I get C & G."
He:   "We worked on [getting FDA approval of] all of those.
Me:  "I know.  I remember."

Having worked in healthcare, on the regulatory aspects of various medications, including cancer drugs, certainly puts me in a different spot than most people.  So, yes, I know more than the average bear.  But when it comes down to it, I'm just another patient, with crazy stuff happening in my body, stuff that is not visible to the naked eye.  I look like everyone else (well, maybe better dressed and coiffed than most, but I pretty much fit into the crowd.)  There is no flashing warning sign.  So, when people I haven't seen for a few months ask, in normal polite conversation, "How are you," I am pretty damn open and honest, but really, that minor exchange does not generally warrant a detailed medical update.  But I also don't feel sincere saying, "Great?" So, I often go with, "I'm ok" or "Not bad, how are you?"  Some people are astute and pick up that something is a little off, and say, "Just okay?  What's up?"  Then I can spill the short version or long version or just refer them to my blog, which is a nice new option and shortcuts the conversation.  (Note to self:  Maybe I need business cards with my blog address on them, rather than writing it on scraps of paper.)

And then there was the guy I saw at the bar during our reception -- someone I see at these meetings -- and I said, "Hi, how are you?"  He replied, while gulping down a few peanuts, "Good, thanks," then walked away.  And that was all I needed to know.