I NEED A PEDICURE!!

I took a day off on Friday, to make up for the fact that I'm working, traveling to Boston for a business meetng, on Presidents' Day.  I was really looking forward to a day of no work and no obligations, and planned to sleep late without guilt, go to yoga, sit at a cafe with a latte and the newspaper, and most excitingly, meet my friend and outside counsel B (OCB) for an afternoon mani-pedi at a fancy place.  (I won't name it, but the door is red. :) Oh, and somwhere in there, cruise by Sibley hospital to pick up the contrast agent to drink before my scan on Tuesday (to wash down those pancakes I'm craving!)

Well, cancer once again put a damper on my well-laid plans.  

Following my late Thursday visit to Dr. S, two obligations were added to my Friday Fun day: 1) schedule an appointment with an endodontist to try to determine why I'm having significant mouth/jaw pain, and 2) make a quick visit to Suburban Hospital for blood "typing and crossing."

My morning began in a relaxed pace, and I was miraculously able to get a same day 1:00 appt with enodondist/dentist J (EDJ), so I decided to skip yoga.  I ended up spending almost 3 hours at EDJ's office as he tried to get to the root of the problem. (yes, pun intended!)  It was very painful, as several teeth are so sensitive that even touching them lightly made me jump out of the chair, and there are sore spots in my gums where 4 wisdom teeth were recently extracted.  (yes, I am just a ball full of medical/dental fun these days!).  EDJ was very nice and gentle, but poking around and placing film in my mouth for x-rays was excrutiaing for all of those involved.  By 2:30, I knew I would not have time to get to Sub hospital and to the salon by 3:15, so OCB's assistant moved our appointments to 4:15.  By 3:30, the mouth pain team had accomplished taking x-rays and a CT scan, but EDJ still had no clue as to the cause of, or treatment for, my dental pain.  I like surprises, but have never been a big fan of mysteries, and I abhor them when related to my health.

When I finally finished--the end part of the end-odontist, it was 3:40, and now I knew I would also miss the 4:15 fancy salon appt.  I called OCB in tears . .  I'm so sorry, I don't think I can make it . . OCB said, oh don't worry, its fine . .  is there anything I can do, anything you need?

"Yes. I NEED A PEDICURE!"

I got through hospital admissions, and having blood drawn, despite a mean desk agent who yelled at me that I needed to have an old-fashioned paper prescription with me..  (I in fact didn't, Dr S's office had set it up and sent everything they needed electronically.)  A nice couple came over and intercepted, and told the desk guy to lighten up and call my Doctors' office himself, as I was shaking by then, the tears were coming once again, and I had bad cell phone reception.  I told the mean desk guy: "This is a freakin' hospital--you're supposed to be nice to people!"  That'll teach him a lesson, I'm sure.

Less-mean lab guy took a blood sample, and I was on my way, wearing 2 hospital bracelets fashionably stacked with my other bracelets.  (I think this will be a trend by next week, don't you?) I wondered whether I would be tracked down as a hospital escapee, or perhaps the bracelets would get me a free drink later on, or entry to a concert.



I met OCB at our local, cheapie nail salon, where you don't need an appointment, and they pretty much  stay open all evening, until whenever paying clients stop showing up. I finally relaxed.  The pedicure was worth the wait.  OCB brought beverages and snacks, and we caught up, completely forgetting to talk business.  Oh well, there will be plenty of time for that.  Thank you OCB!!

Still to come: Saturday, bloody Saturday . . .

Anyone know how to take a sick day?

Yesterday, I walked into a morning meeting at the office, half an hour late; threw down my coat & bags, and while searching for a pen, my large Kate Spade purse spilled onto the floor, leaving a trail of medicine bottles, yogurts, and lip gloss. ( I had not had time to eat, take all my meds, or properly fix my face before 10:30 am). I felt like Carrie Bradshaw on chemo.  I looked at my colleagues and said "if the garage guy gets shot, it will be my fault."  Several VPs had to step over my trail of personal items on their way to another meeting.  Fortunately, it was only an internal staff meeting, and fotunately I no longer get graded on behavior, like I did in school.  Yesterday afternoon, I told my colleagues that I was taking the day off today, as well as Saturday and Sunday.  I'd hate to become all-work, no play, making Sandi a dull girl.

So today, I am home, taking a sick day.  I'm not sure what that means, or really what to do. I'm not exactly debiliated: I can walk, breathe, and type, and don't have any doctor's appts. Although I might have a sore throat coming on. Maybe I should call someone about that.

And technology invades. I love love love my Ipad & Iphone, but they result in many many emails, and I cannot tune out all of the things that I should do, people I should reply to,  follow up with, etc.  Before blackberries & iphones, we just didnt know how much work was waiting for us.  Before catscans & petscans, MRIs, and tumor markers, we didn't know how much cancer was growing inside of us.  It is harder to rest, harder to stay innocent.

Today's page of my Latin American "Revelations" book has a poem:

This is not the first time
offshoot of humankind bearing firewood
whom you see raising up hope
from the ground.  You hope.
Hope, for you, can arise only from the earth.

Sending much hope and love to all of you,

Sandi

Chemo Cycle 2 & Realizing What's Important

I have completed 2 cycles of treatment since December 20: 4 chemo "sittings," 2 follow-up shots, numerous other visits with dentists, alternative healthcare providers, & non-oncologists.  No partridge in a pear tree.  Side effects have been relatively minimal & tolerable.  In cycle 1, I had a stomache ache for about 5 days--not debilitating, but annoying enough to keep me from wanting to work out or do very much at all.  Dr S thus prescribed "valium for the tummy." Yum.  This version of mother's little helper really worked for me.

In both cycles, I have had bone pain, a side effect of "the shot." The shot is a biotech drug that works to keep my white blood cell count up, as the chemo tries to pull it down.  It empowers my body to fend off infection. It works by activating cells in my bone marrow that produce those white blood cells.  In doing so, it can cause bone pain. I only experienced this once back in 2010, when I felt  a sense of little hammers beating away at my spine. I called Dr. S' office in distress, and they advised it was the expected bone pain.  (oh, sorry, I thought you meant achiness, not an all-out attack on my spine! ). It was managed just fine back then with OTC meds.  This time, the bone pain has not been just one battle, but a several day attack. As advised by the nurses, since I'm a second-timer, my white blood cell count was less hearty to begin with; so the shot is powering into my spine, ribs, breastbone, jaw.  One day it felt almost like labor pains, 10 minutes apart, 5 minutes apart . . . I eventually got something better for the pain, which I only needed to use once, as the bone jolts have subsided for now.

Other than that, it's been largely positive.  I've kept my hair thus far (more on that in another post); feel pretty good; am told I look good (and not just, "you look good for a cancer patient"). :). I was feeling strong and accomplished, and yes, I managed chemo on the same day I met with foreign government officials, including a delicious dinner & fabulous wine at Bourbon Steak in the Four Seasons Hotel in DC.  If you want to blow big bucks on an amazing dinner, go there! 5 stars!  So despite (or in between) the side effect annoyances, I have been quite happy, even euphoric at times.

Until this week.  I was swamped at work, and my schedule did not give me the opportunity to work from home (which I'm trying to do one day a week, to take the edge off). I had almost nonstop meetings;  have several business trips coming up to prepare for; and worked well into the evening 3 days in a row. On the second day, I put my head down on my desk during a conference call that led to a handful of new tasks. An hour later, I burst into tears reading the blog of  the sister of a neighborhood friend--the blogger is also a triple negative breast cancer patient It's fairly rare, and I don't know anyone else . . )  and she wrote poignantly about their mother's funeral.  It brought to light what is really important in life--I love what I do professionally, but when it comes down to it--what really matters? Memos and legislative strategies and legal analysis? Or sisters and mothers and relatives with illnesses, and loved ones coming together to celebrate the good times, and hold each other up in the tough times?

This is a question for which I think we all know the answer.