I have completed 2 cycles of treatment since December 20: 4 chemo "sittings," 2 follow-up shots, numerous other visits with dentists, alternative healthcare providers, & non-oncologists. No partridge in a pear tree. Side effects have been relatively minimal & tolerable. In cycle 1, I had a stomache ache for about 5 days--not debilitating, but annoying enough to keep me from wanting to work out or do very much at all. Dr S thus prescribed "valium for the tummy." Yum. This version of mother's little helper really worked for me.
In both cycles, I have had bone pain, a side effect of "the shot." The shot is a biotech drug that works to keep my white blood cell count up, as the chemo tries to pull it down. It empowers my body to fend off infection. It works by activating cells in my bone marrow that produce those white blood cells. In doing so, it can cause bone pain. I only experienced this once back in 2010, when I felt a sense of little hammers beating away at my spine. I called Dr. S' office in distress, and they advised it was the expected bone pain. (oh, sorry, I thought you meant achiness, not an all-out attack on my spine! ). It was managed just fine back then with OTC meds. This time, the bone pain has not been just one battle, but a several day attack. As advised by the nurses, since I'm a second-timer, my white blood cell count was less hearty to begin with; so the shot is powering into my spine, ribs, breastbone, jaw. One day it felt almost like labor pains, 10 minutes apart, 5 minutes apart . . . I eventually got something better for the pain, which I only needed to use once, as the bone jolts have subsided for now.
Other than that, it's been largely positive. I've kept my hair thus far (more on that in another post); feel pretty good; am told I look good (and not just, "you look good for a cancer patient"). :). I was feeling strong and accomplished, and yes, I managed chemo on the same day I met with foreign government officials, including a delicious dinner & fabulous wine at Bourbon Steak in the Four Seasons Hotel in DC. If you want to blow big bucks on an amazing dinner, go there! 5 stars! So despite (or in between) the side effect annoyances, I have been quite happy, even euphoric at times.
Until this week. I was swamped at work, and my schedule did not give me the opportunity to work from home (which I'm trying to do one day a week, to take the edge off). I had almost nonstop meetings; have several business trips coming up to prepare for; and worked well into the evening 3 days in a row. On the second day, I put my head down on my desk during a conference call that led to a handful of new tasks. An hour later, I burst into tears reading the blog of the sister of a neighborhood friend--the blogger is also a triple negative breast cancer patient It's fairly rare, and I don't know anyone else . . ) and she wrote poignantly about their mother's funeral. It brought to light what is really important in life--I love what I do professionally, but when it comes down to it--what really matters? Memos and legislative strategies and legal analysis? Or sisters and mothers and relatives with illnesses, and loved ones coming together to celebrate the good times, and hold each other up in the tough times?
This is a question for which I think we all know the answer.
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